What's Left of Him
by PurpleRain012
Summary: One shot: It was the one year anniversary of when Adam left Amy. He never gave her a reason of leaving until it was too late.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone you may be familiar with, just the plot.**

**Kept listening to the song 'Holiday' by Hilary Duff over and over again and this just popped into my head.**

**FYI for those who don't know, Amy-Lita, Adam-Edge.**

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Today marked a year since he left me. He didn't tell me why he left. He just said he didn't love me anymore and left and never looked back. He never came back to me. He never answered my calls. He never called me. He never wrote back to the letter I sent him. He just left me without warning. He said he didn't love me.

We made plans for our future. We talked about getting married. We wanted kids. He wanted four but I just wanted two, I was willing to have four kids for his sake. I was willing to sacrifice a lot for him. I would do anything for him. He was, is, the love of my life.

The day he left me was the worst day of my life. Or so I thought.

His mother called me about five months after he left me. I saw that she called but I didn't want to pick up nor did I want to call her back. I kept ignoring her calls but she was persistent so I finally picked up her phone call three days later. A part of me thought it was necessary for me to pick up because she wouldn't call just for no reason over and over again. I wish I never picked up that phone call. I was in shock, I just fell to the ground. I couldn't get up, I couldn't breath, I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't believe what his mother had just told me. I just couldn't believe it. I didn't want too.

I went to Canada for a last goodbye. I couldn't handle what was going on around me. I saw his mother and tried not to break down. I tried to be strong for her like I could tell she was trying to do for me. I lost the love of my life but she also lost her only child.

She gave me a letter he wrote for me a couple of days before he died. There isn't one day that goes by in which I don't remember what he wrote.

_Dear Amy,_

_I love you. Don't you ever think otherwise._

_I shouldn't have left you the way I did but I couldn't stay with you. I just couldn't have you stand by me when I knew I was dying. I knew I had cancer and was living on borrowed time. I thought this was going to get better so I never told you anything, but it only got worse and I had to leave. I couldn't put you through the pain and suffering I was going through. I didn't want you to see me like this. I knew it would kill you inside and I just couldn't do that to you. Please forgive me for the way I handled all of this. I just couldn't bear to see you upset even though I know I still upset and hurt you. I'm so sorry, please forgive me for that._

_I know I hurt you a lot. I know I didn't answer your calls, but I just couldn't talk to you. And then I heard your messages and saw your letter. I couldn't believe it. You were pregnant. You are pregnant. I was so excited. You have no clue how much I wish I could just leave and come to you. I know how much you wanted a child, our child. We both had dreams and now I'm not able to be there with you. I can't be there for you or our child. I wish I could come to the both of you. It pains me to know that you're pregnant and you have to deal with it alone. But if I came and told you everything, I thought that would be it. I thought you would just crumble right then and there and it wouldn't be good for you or the baby. I wasn't going to risk anything and come to you when you would just see me deteriorate and eventually die. I thought it was going to be hard on you and I couldn't risk your and our baby's life._

_My mom wanted to come to you and be with you, but I wouldn't let her. She would break and tell you everything. Please can you please let her be apart of the baby's life? Please do that for me. I know I don't deserve anything from you but please let her be in her grandchild's life. She won't really have anyone left soon except for the baby and you. Please if not for me, do this for her._

_Amy. I miss you so much everyday. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your smell. I miss your voice. I miss your forgetfulness. I miss your stupid jokes. I miss your clumsiness. I miss your strength. I miss your love. I miss everything about you. Not one day goes by that I don't think about you._

_Please forgive me and try to understand where I was coming from when I did this. I didn't want you to see me like this. As stupid as it sounds, I was just trying to protect you. I was trying to make this easier for you. I might be stupid for thinking any of this was easy for you but you have to know I only did what I thought was best for you._

_Please forgive me. I love you. I will always love you._

_Forever and Always,_

_Adam_

That did it. That was when I completely lost it and couldn't stop crying. He did this for me. He did love me. He lied when he told me he didn't love me anymore. I hate that he just left me without telling me anything. We still had a couple of months left together even if he was confined to a hospital bed for the better part of it. I wish I could go back in time and stop him. I wish I could go back in time and follow him to Canada. I wish I didn't give up on us when he wouldn't answer my calls. I should have known there was something big going on. He wouldn't just leave me for no reason.

I didn't know how I would get through it. Thankfully I had my family and friends as well as his family and friends to help me through this. His mother was and still is a big help for me. I was admitted to the hospital after my breakdown after reading his letter and couldn't come back home to Atlanta. I had to stay in Canada, I had to stay in the place that would always remind me of Adam. Ironically enough, I was in the same hospital he died in. I was put on bed-rest and couldn't leave Canada until after my baby was born. I wasn't allowed to fly, I wanted to drive back home but Adam's mother wouldn't allow it. She took me to her house and I stayed there until after my baby was born.

My baby. I almost lost my baby just like I lost Adam. I went into premature labor and my baby was so close to leaving me just like his father. My son, who is now four months, was the only thing that made me get through all of this. It would be over if something were to happen to him as well. I did have support from both mine and Adam's family and friends but that could never make up from the loss I felt when Adam died. My son helped me get through all of this. My son made me want to continue with life. He's the last and most important reminder I have of Adam.

I was suddenly taken out of my thoughts and memories of Adam when I heard a tiny yet loud noise coming from the room next to mine.

"He's fussy. Just like his dad." Adam's mother said when I walked into the room. She was here for a week because she wanted to spend some time with her grandson which I was thankful for. It was always nice having her around.

"I know." I smiled at her and walked over to her and Joseph, he was of course named after his father. His mother helped me name Joe. We didn't want to name him Adam but we still wanted a name in memory of him so we used his middle name. "He looks more and more like him everyday."

"I'm thankful for that." She smiled at me.

I smiled back. "Me too."

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**Thanks for reading. Reviews will be appreciated.**

**So this is my first time trying something not too happy as well as my first stab at Lita/Edge. Hope you like it.**


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